How to Best Deal with Horrific Suffering
We all will suffer one day. Either physical, mental or emotional pain occurs to everyone in the world at some point in our lives. Some of us will suffer in one of these aspects more than others. Christians have the gift of being taught that this is the Cross we must carry. It is a gift to know of this Cross as for those that have not been taught this pearl of life, LIFE and its inherent misery can be at times unbearable.
In a previous post I discussed the atheists Sigmund Freud and C.G. Jung. https://drcremers.com/2015/10/best-treatments-for-depression.html
Sigmund Freud was a “devout atheist” and his life and particularly death revealed his inner depression and misery. He was asked to be killed in his last hours.
C.S Lewis was a Christian and, though, had terrible loss and suffering in his life, he was able to see the beauty and gift of his heavy cross and bring joy and laughter to all around him by embracing his cross: which is never easy, but the alternative is deadly and miserable for you and for all around you.
A friend named Hector years ago had the whole world in front of him. He was engaged to a beautiful woman. He was about to sign a record deal with a well known record company. He was young and alive! He and his fiancee and his fiancee’s family went swimming in a local river near where he lived. It was a beautiful sunny day. They were having so much fun. And then in one moment Hector’s life changed forever.
He jumped head first into a part of the river he had not been in before. He did not come up. When his fiancee realized he was not coming up, she screamed and everyone went looking for him. They found him finally in the muddy river waters at the bottom.
He had hit his head so hard that he had severed his spinal cord. He would never walk again. He became instantaneously quadriplegic. They had to continue giving him CPR so he could survive on the way to the hospital as he could not breath on his own initially.
He is lucky to even be alive.
Initially, Hector, cursed God and was very angry for not having died. “Why did I live?” he asked. It took a while but he eventually learned about the power of God’s will, even in the midst of this tragic suffering.
He learned to embrace this cross and grow in the appreciation for all the life he has: the birds, the sun, the trees, his vision, his ability to blink. He then started to be able to thank God for what had happened. He could see the power of God to use him as an instrument to bring hope and joy to others: especially to children who have had something similar happen to them when they were so young…and to their parents.
Most importantly, he learned that as he learned to love the Cross that was given to him, he was able to spread this Love to others. And over time, this learning to Love and to give Love increased his happiness to the point that he could honestly say he was happier after the accident than before!
Hector is one of the most cheerful and loving people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.
It took him some time to come to terms to his new life, but he learned to see the immense value of the eternity of Heaven with God close to him versus the eternity of the alternative he was heading towards in his old life.
How does one get to the peace that Hector has?
There are different ways to get there, but the key components are:
1. Prayer: keep praying for a miracle but know God’s will is always the best will. Whatever you have lost in the tragedy will be with you glorified in Heaven. Your job now is to get there!
It is ok to scream at God. It is ok to loose your temper at God initially. But as a child, we need to grow to accept whatever His will is as His Will, whatever he allows is the best way and maybe the only way for us to get to Heaven.
-Take it step by step: first re-learn to open your eyes. Then learn to smile. Learn to talk cheerful. Learn to thing positive thoughts again. Learn to say positive things again. We cannot do it alone.
2. Family: let your family help you. Do not harden your heart. Ask God for the power to help you through this all and ask your family and friends to help you.
3. Friends: let your friends visit you. Let them help you. Do not shun them away, which can be very hard.
4. Meet others who have had the same thing happen and learned to move on stronger than before.
5. Personally, I would recommend the “non-PUBMED studied treatments” of Holy Water to bless the suffering person daily, relics of great saints on the lesion causing the problem, doing a novena to your favorite saint (my favorite saints for proven miracles in my opinion are St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Joseph, St. Josemaria, St. Andre, St. Gerard): never underestimate the power of the saints and your guardian angels! Wear a brown scapular. Pray to keep any demons from keeping you down in the dumps and focusing on what you have lost. Focus on what you have gained! If you have lost a son, daughter, spouse, parent, you likely now have a powerful intercessor in Heaven! Focus on the positive. Focus on all the years you did have together. Have your friends and family keep telling you and reminding you about the positives of life.
6. Play cheerful music. Avoid addiction to tv.
7. Plenty of sunshine. Plenty of laughter around if possible.
It takes time, but we all need help putting on the Supernatural Glasses to see God’s will in terrible tragedy.
If you do not really care for Eternity, Heaven, Hell, or God, please see these video’s below. They have helped me personally understand the point of life and the will of God when it makes no sense to me.
Not sure if you have heard for Roy Schoeman but he was a former, very cynical, NY Jew atheist (his own words) & Harvard Business School professor who has an amazing conversion story: He wrote Salvation is From the Jews which is an amazing book. I met Roy years ago and I believe fully what happened to him and what he says in this video. Over the years, I have come to see by what he says and does, that he is not the type of person to exaggerate or lie. This video was very helpful to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeDzSfquYcs
Roy Schoeman who is close friends with Marino Restrepo, who is from Columbia. Marino also had an amazing encounter with God after a life filled with crazy Yoga/Magic/crystals practices & an LA actor’s life. This was also very powerful. When I first heard this below video, I called Roy to ask him, “Is Marino for real? Or he just making this all up?” Roy said immediately, “Marino Restrepo is the real deal! He puts me to shame! He travels the world 360 per year some years on this mission clearly inspired by the Holy Spirit. He has been known to travel from London to LA back to London in one weekend just to give retreats and talks in both locations. He does not even care about money. I don’t know how he survives except by the help of God.”
I must vouch for the “not caring about the money.” We were so impressed with his video, we tried to donate money through his website but even his paypal does not work.
You might be helped with this as well.
I pray this will help you!
With affection,
Sandy Cremers, MD, FACS
Really worth seeing whole series but even just the first is amazing.
Other References:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymjuxVPBZYc